Warmth, not pipeline
A warmth score per person — not per "deal". You see who's cooling off, who you owe a message, who you haven't met in months.
Relationship advice you can actually use
A quiet app for the people who matter to you.
Relationship advice only matters when it reaches everyday life. Endearist pairs a deep advice library with a local-first Personal CRM: your people, notes, and rhythms — encrypted and never tracked.
Get Endearist Pro Lifetime · €69 Not launched yet — join the list and we'll write once. Then free for 25 contacts, no credit card.
- Pay once €69 forever, not $12 a month
- Never quietly sold Source released on acquisition or shutdown
- Your key Stored locally; we cannot read along
73 free tools 301 posts
Relationship advice library
If you have a relationship question, start here.
Evidence-informed advice, paths, tools, and questions work together: check safety and context, choose the right conversation, then keep the relationship warm.
Find the next step
A router for check-in, repair, boundary, reassurance, pause, or hard conversation.
Route my question
Check safety
A safety-first check when fear, control, isolation, or threats are part of the situation.
Start check
Sort a decision
Stay, repair, set a boundary, or leave: read safety, effort, and evidence more clearly.
Start path
Sort fairness
Turn invisible work, money, household tasks, and family logistics into real ownership.
Start path
Choose a path
Sequenced routes for maintenance, communication, conflict, dating, and long-term love.
Browse paths
Repair trust
A focused path for small breaks, shutdown, reassurance, and new evidence.
Start playbook
Build a check-in
A calm agenda for a partner, friend, or family member in less than a minute.
Open tool
Plan a hard conversation
Opening line, sequence, questions, boundary, and pause for charged topics.
Build plan
Find deeper questions
Question sets for partners, family, friendships, and reconnection.
Browse questions
Manifesto
Five promises.
No fine print.
-
Your data, your device
Local-first by default. End-to-end encrypted sync is optional, never required.
-
We track nothing
Plausible self-hosted, cookieless and ad-tech free. Your reading isn't anyone's data.
-
Pay-once Lifetime
€69 once, yours forever. Subscriptions are only for ongoing infrastructure like managed sync and bundled AI.
-
We won't sell out
If we ever do, the source code is released open. Public commitment, not just a promise.
-
Export anytime
Plain Markdown, readable without our app. No lock-in, no migration script.
What Endearist does
Six things no other CRM does this way.
Built for people, not pipelines. Every feature exists because it helps you actually maintain a relationship.
Cadence per person
Set per person how often you'd like to reach out — weekly for a partner, twice a year for a cousin. Gentle reminders, never streaks.
AI with your key
Bring your own GPT / Claude / Gemini key for message drafts and journal summaries. Or stay fully offline — Endearist works without AI.
Relationship journal
One line or one paragraph per encounter. Searchable, AI-summarisable, exportable as plain Markdown.
Pets, kids, families
First-class — not custom fields. Dunbar's middle circle (your 50) belongs together; Endearist models that.
Calm by default
No streaks, no badges, no FOMO. The app earns five minutes of your attention, then gets out of the way.
Free tools · no signup
Quick answers about your relationships.
A concrete answer in 60 seconds — all in your browser, no signup.
Relationship Question Router
Find the right next step in 60 seconds: check-in, repair, boundary, reassurance, pause, or hard conversation.
Open tool
Dunbar Calculator
Your personal limit for friendships.
Open tool
Relationship Safety Check
Check whether a conversation tool fits or whether safety, support, and distance need to come first.
Open tool
Birthday Reminder Calendar
Turn your birthday list into a .ics calendar — set it once, forget nothing.
Open tool
Friendship Check-Up
A 12-question reflection that surfaces which of your friendships are quietly cooling — without judgement.
Open tool
Ideas · From the blog
Relationship advice with substance.
Research, practice, safety boundaries, and concrete next steps — for real relationships, not generic tips.
Relationships
Emotionally immature parents: recognising the pattern and stopping the hook
What emotional immaturity in a parent looks like, why appeals for understanding backfire, and the approach that makes contact survivable.
Personal CRM
Your personal CRM just got acquired. What happens to your data?
Clay was acquired and became Mesh. Nothing broke — but nobody asked the users. How to check an app's exit risk before you trust it with years of notes.
Fairness
Communal vs exchange relationships: the two ledgers people run
Close relationships track needs, not debts. Clark and Mills showed why repaying a favour too fast backfires — and what a mismatched ledger costs.