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Endearist Paths

Conflict and Repair

14 modules · 2 hours · Intermediate

A path for conflicts that should not escalate: regulate, speak clearly, and repair.

OutcomeRecognize escalation earlier and return faster to a conversation that can be solved.

Who is this path for?

Couples and close friends who fight in a recognisable loop — same argument, different subject — and want the loop itself examined rather than the topic.

How should I work through this path?

Read this one when things are calm. That sounds like avoidance and is the opposite: material about conflict read during a conflict gets used as ammunition, and you will find yourself diagnosing the other person mid-argument instead of noticing your own half. If you are currently in the middle of something, start with the repair modules rather than the analysis ones — repair is the part that works even when nothing has been understood yet. Reading it alongside the other person is better than reading it about them. And treat the sequence loosely; unlike Foundations, these modules stand alone, so start with whichever one names your loop.

Part 1

Regulate First

4 modules

  1. Calm Your Nervous System 7 min Use nervous-system tools to calm down before a hard conversation so you can stay clear, fair, and connected.
  2. Manage Emotions in the Moment 7 min Name the emotion, pause before reacting, and respond from choice — not autopilot. A practical guide to in-the-moment emotional regulation.
  3. De-escalate an Argument 7 min Learn how to de-escalate an argument. Learn techniques to calm down an angry partner, stop fights from escalating, and resolve conflict peacefully.
  4. Stop the Fight Before It Escalates 8 min Emotional flooding shuts down productive dialogue before it starts. Learn the Gottman time-out method and physiology-first de-escalation that actually work.

Part 2

Name It Clearly

6 modules

  1. Raise a Problem 7 min Most fights are lost in the first sentence. The gentle start-up and the SBI formula let you raise a hard topic without triggering defensiveness.
  2. Hear Criticism Without Defensiveness 8 min When criticism hits, you have more than attack or collapse. Four ways to receive a hard message and turn it into useful information.
  3. Use Anger as a Signal 8 min Learn how to stop blaming, identify the unmet need beneath anger, and communicate hurt or fear without attacking your partner.
  4. Have a Difficult Conversation 8 min Every difficult conversation is three conversations at once. Learn the framework that makes hard talks productive — and keeps relationships intact.
  5. Set Boundaries 7 min A boundary is what you will do, not what you demand from others. How to set limits that actually hold — with a real consequence behind each one.
  6. Say No 6 min Say no without guilt or a four-paragraph apology. Four scripts — warm, firm, and broken-record — that work without over-explaining.

Part 3

Repair

4 modules

  1. How to Apologize 7 min Most apologies fail in the same ways. Lewicki's five components show what a real apology actually looks like — and which one carries the most weight.
  2. Repair After a Fight 7 min Once the heat is gone, repair is a skill, not a feeling. How to reconnect after a fight: listen first, own your part, and rebuild safety.
  3. Rebuild Broken Trust 8 min Broken trust is rebuilt through consistent changed behavior over time — not a single apology. What repair actually takes, and when to walk away.
  4. Mediate Other People's Conflict 7 min How to step into a conflict between two people without taking sides — stay neutral, move from positions to interests, and let each side be heard.